egg and hips
by Tony Alton
BLAMMO! Have a Crazy Frog ringtone, KERRPOW! Here’s a badly ported
version of the vengaboys CRACK! Here’s a really scabby picture of S Club 7 from
June 2002. Feedtext have today announced
the launch of a new ‘hip’ web application called RingtoneDeck (no space, only one
out of place capital). This apparently ‘crafts the
mobile phone content into a reflection of the owner’s unique personality’. Holy cow, that’s a bit Terminator, how does
the interface with my personality work? Does the handset start chewing its
nails and moaning when it’s hungover?
Once the phone has assimilated you and can work out Orange
whether you want McMuffin or
breakfast, it then downloads music to your handset, presumably learning what
content you have bought before. RingtoneDeck,
which touts ‘relatively affordable’ mobile content, says that non-mobile savvy
people ‘often have to make do with bad content, or even no content at all’. Sweet lord, no content??? Can you imagine
what a lonely life those people must lead.
Not content with making buckets of money the RingtoneDeck press
release also claims to make people happy saying: “Feedtext
is continually finding ways to make our customers happy by bringing options on
how to create a hip and trendy mobile lifestyle.” Forget love, good food, music, fun and all
those other things, the secret to a wholesome life is RingtoneDeck.
In summary: sounds like a hideous application that’s going
to send me rubbish music I never wanted and make my bill look like the US
Defence budget. The kebab from the bin
of the content world.
